When They Ask For Advice

There's been a nasty virus going around here in the UK... and I got it!  Sorry, it's been a couple of weeks since I've felt well enough to do anything.  Here's a little post to finish up our Porto, Portugal, trip.

We spent an awesome weekend in Porto with friends where we went on a couple wine tours.  During the last one, we met a sweet, young, French couple.  Well, actually, she was from France, he was from the states, but they are living in Paris.  Wow...living in Paris!  They were about 25, had been married a year, and were celebrating her birthday that weekend.  In the course of talking to them, he asked us "old" married folk how we did it...how did we stay married so long.

You know, in a world of throw-away everything, I'm very proud that we've "made it" over 30 years together and I suppose we have a lot to offer a young couple looking to stay married forever.

We threw out a few ideas like...

          Be each other's best friend

          Never be willing to give up

          Forgive always

          Take time for yourself.

But I got to thinking about this conversation later and wondered if we could have said more.  I met John when I was 16...a long time ago!  We practically grew up together.  There were things we learned the hard way along the way.

          Make faith a priority

          Be honest...always

          Put each other first

          Compromise...there's always a solution if you take the time to pursue it

          Spend quality time together away from kids

          Never threaten the "D" word...divorce

          Be a team, work together

          Listen with your heart...what are they really saying underneath the anger and hurt

          Choose to LOVE even when you don't always LIKE them

Choose to love, it's a hard concept for some.  But it is possible and, I think, it's one of the most important aspects of marriage.  Marriage is not always a piece of cake with a cherry on top, sometimes it looks more like a squished donut!  Sometimes it's just really hard work.  It may start out all rosy, but life happens, feelings get hurt, we hurt them, they hurt us.  It's these moments, you must choose to love them.  Put it in God's hands, forgive, talk it through, and then put it behind you. 

Well, Porto turned out to be just beautiful our last two days.  Sunshine and a little surf to make the soul feel well!